My Friday Night Ride by Michael Cavelero

My ride home from work Friday turned out to be a little more exciting than I had expected. I stopped off to rent a couple videos on my way home. The shopping center is 2.5mi from my house. I end up behind a cager that lived generally in my neighborhood. Apparently that long and arduous 2.5mi drive up to the grocery store to grab a six-pack of beer was just too stressful for this guy (please note the sarcasm here). At 6:30 at night, everybody is heading home, and this 5 lane road (2 lanes in either direction, and a bi-directional turn lane) gets very busy heading towards my neighborhood.

I leave the parking lot behind this guy. 1mi away, this road will narrow to 2 lanes, and 70% of the traffic will make a left turn at the intersection where the road narrows. The result being that the inside lane becomes backed up for about 1/2mi before the intersection (though it moves pretty quickly despite the backup). Despite the fact that it's been this way before the dawn of time, and will probably always be this way, this fucking idiot didn't have the foresight not to get into the left lane. He tore out onto the road steadily pulling away from me, swerved into the left lane, and quickly encountered heavy traffic (which you could've seen from the parking lot, BTW). I merely stayed in the right lane, which was pretty much empty. (I rely on the fact that my small bike merges easily, so at the upcoming intersection I don't have any problems when the road narrows).

I think the guy was actually pissed that I made a better decision than he did. As I approached from behind him in my lane, he waited until he could cut me off, then swerved hard into my lane going 10mph less than I was. Truly, that's what happened as he would tell me later on, threatening to run me down the next time. It must be nice to have an ego so big to think that I had conspired to get him stuck in that lane.

After he intentionally cut me off, he went maybe 100' before merging back into the inside lane. I continued right on past him. Since so many cars were turning left, the inside lane emptied and I got over, right as the light was turning red. Well, guess who ended up stopped right behind me? The dickhead. He stopped within inches of my rear tire. I just ignored him. So, he inched up even closer (I still don't know how he managed not to bump me). The light turned green, and I got on it hard enough to pull away, but not overly aggressive. I didn't want the dickhead to think I was challenging him. BTW, he already had that six pack opened.

Leaving the light, he floored his cage to catch up to me and proceeded to unmercifully tail me. I slowly reduced my speed to 20mph, 15mph below the limit, hoping he'd just pass. The asshole tries to pass while there is oncoming traffic. Doh! Well, now he's even more pissed at me, as obviously again that's my fault. Seeing that this guy had less than exemplary driving skills, I moved to the outside of the lane, plus there was no more oncoming traffic. I wanted to give him as much room as possible. Well, he starts to pass me all right, about 6" inches away from me. Screw that, I dropped to first gear and got out in front of him. Couldn't go far, though. Too much traffic.

Back to the speed limit, dickhead again comes up right on my rear tire. So, again I slow to 20 and move to the right. Now, monkeyfuck won't pass me. He just sits there right on my rear tire. Fine, doesn't bother me. I'm not the one that was in such a hurry to get home in the first place. FF several blocks, he's definitely following me, and I have no desire to let him know where I live. I pull up in front of some house, just like I lived there. I watch him pull in behind me. Knowing a confrontation would ensue, I casually got off my bike. He comes running up and busts a fresh bottle of beer over my head, thank god I was wearing my helmet. Glass and beer go everywhere.

Now, I don't want to give the wrong impression, I don't go around getting into fights. Matter of fact, I do damn near anything to avoid 'em. Unfortunately, I've been in enough to have found out two things, if you have something to loose, don't fight back too much, as you loose your rights as a victim. I knew my helmet was wasted, so I was damn careful what I did. Secondly, I know that 95% of people don't know how to throw a punch (I mean, ya only learn one way). Well, this guy was definitely of the 5% that did, and he was one helluva lot stronger than me (and I ain't no weenie). All I can say was that it was awesome to be able to view his punches, yet not have to suffer their punishment. Truly incredible. He was so friggin fast, I blocked a couple, but not many. I thought he was an idiot for the way he drove, this dickhead sat there and punched my helmet about 5-6 times. And I'm talking I thought he was gonna take my head off, he was throwing 'em out there so hard. Had a bit of a sore neck afterward. The coolest one was this wicked uppercut to my chin bar. Now I know why boxers where those padded helmets when sparring.

I wasn't about to put up with that crap, and finally I got him restrained, or rather had to get him restrained many times. He did get one more off in our struggle, right into my chest, that damn near lifted my 195lbs right off the ground! I got a couple sore ribs there, ouch. He struggled with me for probably 10 minutes and finally gave up.

Do you believe this shit? Honestly, what the hell did I do, besides being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Here I am wearing my full face helmet, my padded ridding gloves and my armored riding boots. I could've pounded on that boy for some time before I felt any pain. I wanted to wail on him so bad. Last time I was in that position, I was told either they arrest both of us or neither of us. All I could think about was how screwed this guy was. DUI, reckless driving, assault with a weapon, property damage. I really felt like if I did anything to him I'd get screwed. Been there before.

I've got witnesses and a deputy sheriff who I believe will come through for me. I'll let ya know how this turns out. All I can say is that if the officer doesn't deal that guy one seriously nasty blow, I've had it with law enforcement, and that'll be the last time I'll ever wait for them to let me down. It's happened too many times in the past. I'll be taking matters into my own hands.


For any of you that remember my escapade back in October that resulted in being attacked by a drunk and deranged motorist, here's my update.

I spoke with the prosecutor today. To make a long story short she doesn't care about what happened and won't prosecute the jerk off. She made a million excuses why, and they were all complete bullshit. Keep in mind, the son-of-a-bitch never even so much as denied it.

After telling the prosecutor what I thought of her for 15 minutes, I finally pissed her off enough to hang up on me. The complete bitch. Thus, I'll be paying her a visit in person tomorrow.

Seeing as how I know that'll get me no where, with the exception of a little personal satisfaction, I'm off to sue the dickhead in civil court. It should be a no brainer to sue him for the cost of my helmet and my jacket, but seeing as how he got off without even so much as a hand slap, I'd really like to fuck this guy over. Any advice?

Ya know, I've been let down so many times by my states law enforcement and legal representatives, I don't even know why I expected anything else. Matter of fact, I've been in an inordinate number of situations where "the law" was supposed to do something for me. Bad luck? Who knows. Never, not even once has the law come through for me. Fucked every time. I don't know why I bother to abide by the laws. Nobody else does, and they all get away with it.

What a complete fuck-over. I'm so pissed, I damn near drove over to the guys house and took out my frustrations on him personally. The thing that utterly frustrates the hell out of me, is I know I'd be prosecuted for that. But the other guy, he's driving while intoxicated, drinking while in the car, endangering tens of other motorists, nearly runs me down, physically harasses me on my 400lb bike with his 3000lb car, follows me home and attacks me with one of his remaining beer bottles from his freshly purchased 6-pack, and all that's OK.